Key lessons from research

There is no clear link between parental competence and intelligence.

• Beware the presumption of incompetence.

• Parental competence can only be assessed on a case-by-case basis.

• Approach each case with an open mind.

• Always remember that love and affection are not related to IQ.
  

It is important to distinguish the effects of people's living conditions from the effects of their learning difficulties on their competence as parents.

• Avoid blaming the victim.

• Avoid the mistake of seeing all the parents' problems in terms of their learning difficulties.

• Be sensitive to the similarities between the parenting problems of people with learning difficulties and other at-risk families, and respond in a like-minded way.

• Beware of underestimating the contribution which practical supports can make to helping families under pressure.
  

People with learning difficulties are more likely to experience parenting under tough conditions and are also more vulnerable to these pressures.

• Look for the strengths and positive qualities of families (and how they can be reinforced), not just for their weaknesses.

• Explore practical ways of reducing the pressures on the family from environmental threats so lightening the parental load.

• Be ready to respond to early signs of stress instead of waiting for a crisis to occur.

• Ensure that parents have access to independent, informed and sympathetic advice whenever issues relating to parental responsibilities and the care of the children arise.
  

There is no agreed standard for defining what constitutes adequate parenting.

• Ensure the standards against which parents are assessed are made explicit to them.

• Avoid making value-laden judgements about the adequacy of parenting based on unfair comparisons with middle class standards.

• Watch out for self-fulfilling prophecies of parenting failure based on single-minded concern only with parental inadequacies.

• Work with parents to explore together the meaning of good-enough parenting.
  

The problems of many parents stem more from their own upbringing than from their learning difficulties.

• Always ensure that people's parenting abilities and problems are assessed in the context of their own lives and experience.

• Ensure that parents with learning difficulties are not treated more punitively than other parents whose problems similarly stem from a disadvantaged upbringing.

• Be wary of underestimating the role played by fathers/partners.

• Be alert to the possibly damaging effects of physical, sexual or system abuse on parents' own functioning.
  

The parenting skills of parents with learning difficulties can be improved by training.

• Never assume that parenting deficits are irremediable.

• Never underestimate people's capacity to change.

• Accept responsibility for ensuring that parents are given the opportunity of acquiring adequate child care skills and learning appropriate parenting behaviour.

• Never seek permanently to remove a child from home for reasons of neglect, inadequate care or abuse by omission before every effort has been made to equip the parents with the skills they need to cope.
  

Adequate social supports protect against parenting breakdown.

Services and supports need to be based on:

• A long-term view, a long-term commitment, and a genuine appreciation of the parents as people.

• An enabling approach aimed at creating opportunities for parents to develop and demonstrate their competence.

• A user-centred framework that gives parents a sense of control over their own and their children's lives.

For more information refer to: 'Parenting with learning difficulties: lessons for practitioners', British Journal of Social Work, 23, 1993, pp. 459–480.